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Widows / Widowers Support Page

 
What's your take? (click here)

ambergirl  

my husband passed away in 2012,We were together 28 years. I am 53 years old and I have

my husband passed away in 2012,We were together 28 years. I am 53 years old and I have been unemployed since and have been living on his life insurance and 401 k, now receiving 300.00 a month pension, I need help with finding help. Is there anything available for me to help get started on a new life. I have no clue on where to start. I am homeless and broke, staying here and there, no permanent address. I just need help.
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new to the ranks   in reply to widow12112   on

Why...why..why??? My husband passed away in Jan 2012. He was diagnosed with pancreatic

Your story is almost word for word my story. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I to am living with my parents. we were sharring all of our expences 50/50 but they have been footing all the bills since my husband died and we may loose the house. I can't find any help either. someone said to look for phone answering positions you can do from home. maybe there will be something there. I still can't work (too sick) but plan to get better so I can again. Glen Beck has a company on his radio broadcast that can help you with your taxes. God bless and good luck.
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new to the ranks   in reply to deedeepoet   on

DESPERATE AND ABOUT TO LOOSE MY MIND!

I am new to the ranks and real scared. I to am to young to get aid as well(50). I am in the process of my last chance to get disability. I have fibromyalgia, diabetes, sleep apnea and a host of other things going on, all due to caring for my sick husband for 31 years (he got sick 2 months after our marriage). I think you may have fibromyalgia as well for the same reasons I have it. The Aurthritis foundation has the best flyer on the disease I have ever found. You can check the library as well. This may not help much but if you know what the problem is maybe it will help you get correct medical help. Social Security tries not to ecknowlege this disease but maybe if enouph of us sick cargiving people apply for aid then maybe things can change. I also know that you will need to be denied at least 3 times by SS before you get a chance. I have been trying for 7 years and may still be denied. it takes a year to even get the appointment with the judge so exspect to loose 3 or more years waiting and not working. In the process I have lost most of any back benefits during this process. You wont have a chance without an atturny. leagally all the atturny can charge is 6,000.00. Most will not take their pay until they win in court. I know I did not help you much but knowlage is power. God bless and good luck. My heart cries with you and all theses beautiful loving people. We just can't give up.
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Tambra   in reply to Terryswife   on

Hi. Im a 35 year old mom of 4. My husband committed suicide almost 2 years ago. I have

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wanted to respond when I seen you post. My husband also committed suicide and it like living a nightmare and sleep is the only escape. It's been 7yrs and I never had any counsel, but I will tell you this, it does get better. Early on you cannot see how, but just "know" it will.... even though you cannot imagine a turning point taking form ! A heavy cloud is consuming you, but your stronger than you realize. I know nothing feels like strength even after 2yrs., just keep reminding yourself you can do this because you already are and doing this mental talk will actually start to ease the cloud to see beyond the trauma you are enduring. As far as housing check in your area to see if there is "Housing Authority" # and explain your situation. Rem....You got what it takes and you will be able look back and say I made it beyond the trauma! :)
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Terryswife   in reply to widow12112   on

Why...why..why??? My husband passed away in Jan 2012. He was diagnosed with pancreatic

I understand. Have looked everywhere for help. I cannot find it either. So sorry for your loss. We gotta keep digging until something comes up. If i find anything i will share.
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Terryswife  

Hi. Im a 35 year old mom of 4. My husband committed suicide almost 2 years ago. I have

Hi. Im a 35 year old mom of 4. My husband committed suicide almost 2 years ago. I have lost everything. My job doesn't pay enough to cover the bills and because he lacked paying enough into social security we are eligible for nothing. I was almost through nursing school to better us but, i cannot quit my job to finish clinicals. I am staying with someone right now, it's not working out. I have no family besides my kids. My late husbands family are in no shape to help. Im at a loss. Crying and praying for my husband to come take us home cannot be all i have left. To top it off, i used all my off time from work getting my kids head straight after the loss that I've had no bereavement council and feel like im slipping into a deep depression. Can't remember the last happy day. Im lost without him. So, my question, anyone know of anywhere i can look for help as far as housing?
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widow12112  

Why...why..why??? My husband passed away in Jan 2012. He was diagnosed with pancreatic

Why...why..why??? My husband passed away in Jan 2012. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 8 weeks before, talk about life changing..after 40yrs everything is gone!! I couldn't afford our home..I had to move back home with my elderly parents.I feel like my life is a complete mess, we had a lot of credit card debt, I was able to short sale the home, bury my husband, and pay off credit cards by settling the debts which they nailed me on when it came tax time. Now I still have about 5000 in credit card debt that I was unable to pay off. I am 57, only worked in child care 8 bucks an hour.. I am sinking and need help..I don't understand why its not out there
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andy123  

dam the world: God help us all ,my husband died in august 2004, i had a home which i had to sell and a

God help us all ,my husband died in august 2004, i had a home which i had to sell and a small retirement from him i was 54 and he ws 67 .ive had 9 years of hell i made the mistake of trusting my family for help they helped all right they took every dime i had ,left me out in the cold now im broke and 20,0000 in debt and i never see them or hear from them .its like i dropped off the end of the earth ,people i know say how,s your fammily i laugh and saywhat family 4 brother,s and one sister and they don,t know me now after taking 80,000 from me
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andy123   in reply to YellowRose5r   on

Financial needs

omg if you can,t get help from a church who will help us


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abbeygirl   in reply to Riverrain5   on

Widow is desperate

You might not see it but it sounds like you have been doing a great job with your children You are a blessing to them and them to you.I has been a struggle but you are making it!Please don't do it only for your children do it for YOU also.You are so unbeleiveably strong! I know it seems like knowone cares,I often have to fight off feelings of desperation I often wish I were not around anymore.But eventually those feelins pass and I relize that my death would cause great pain to others the kind of pain I felt when my husband died,a deep debilitateing dark pain that I wouldn't want anyone to go thru-It almost killed me when I went thru it.So I encourage you to stay strong,Remember that although it may seem like it, you are not aloneYou are a STRONG woman with the proud accomplishment of 2wonderful responsible children brought into the world and nurtured by you! You are remarkable
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abbeygirl  

I am a 53 year old woman who has been widowed almost 5 years.It is a tremondous struggle.I

I am a 53 year old woman who has been widowed almost 5 years.It is a tremondous struggle.I can't find a steady job and because I need money so badly I must take odd jobs for very little money.But I am thankful for them.It seems like I not only unexpectedly lost my husband but I also lost my way of life.I have found no help sure educational grants,but I need to pay my bills and I am having enough trouble doing that now and would have even less time if I were pursueing an education.I am so drained emotionally,physically, and finanically.My health is affected every part of my being is affected. So I know what many of you are dealing with.But I am here to tell you that we all will get through this I can say that with time you will be better able to deal with your loss,and you will learn to handle your struggles.Our loved ones did not want to leave us.They did not want us to suffer the way we have been. And we need to stick with it until things get better.Don't be afraid to ask people you know for help. There are people who care I am one of them.I feel your pain because I live with the same pain.You are not alone
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Riverrain5   in reply to MaryLouv   on

Widow is desperate

I am sorry for this significant and tremendous loss. I am in the same situatin too. My husband passed away in 2004 and I have yet to find any place that provides financial relief or support. I have searched endlessly! I've raised 2 children who were 10 and 13 when their Daddy passed. Both are in college. One is thankfully living with a relative trying to finish her education in another state. She's working almost full time trying to safe money to resume in the fall. My youngest just completed his first year of school; howevet has been working 2 jobs trying to help make ends meet. I do not makeenough money to meet the basic monthly needs to survive. It's so frustrating! He's emotionally and physically exhausted trying to work so many hours and work. He has no study time and it is affecting his grades. I want him to get an education. He'll need to in order to have a better life. The stress and anxiety I feel worring about paying the basics is so hard to ecplain. There has been no grieving process....I've had to keep going as the mom and dad for these wonderful, humble, selfless and amazing children. I see the pain and hurt in their eyes having to struggle and push forward, as they're in survival mode. My heart aches inside. I feel compelled to keep striving for a better life, but suffer tremendously internally watching my kids suffer, and inside my heart only aches for my husband's return. If he were here, we all would be free from this horrible nightmare. If you or anyone discovers a resouce for financial help, please share your knowledge. Together let's help each other. We all can relate to the suffering....life has become robotic and we've been deprived the right to quality living! What's wrong with our government? There are resources for everything under the sun! Widows and widowers are left to live under the darkness of their darkened shadows and live silently suffering, dying slowly within from helpless pain.
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Ciddly   in reply to sandeestttn   on

I buried my husband 6 days ago. I lost my job trying to take care of him, as well as

Im also a young widow i dont qialify for anything i was homless 3 years with lupus congestive heart failire and maany more illness then if i take early i get less.my two sons were 18 22 so they didnt qualify.stay strong.
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sandeestttn  

I buried my husband 6 days ago. I lost my job trying to take care of him, as well as

I buried my husband 6 days ago. I lost my job trying to take care of him, as well as insuranes. For 2 years he had been bedridden. I did everything myself also. Now, since I am 63, not 65. Having a hard time getting his SS, then I have to take a reduced amount of his. My house has been falling down around us, this past 2 yrs, as everything he drew on SS, went for meds, etc, to take care of him. Now I have a funeral to figure out how to pay for, (that won't wait)..Repoing my vichicle, nothing from SS this month, will not have utilities. No help anywhere. After being married for 48 years. Where does a person turn?.....After only 6 days, I feel people avoiding me, when you need someone the most. My house is paid for, but credit is poor, and no proof of income. Taxes are due, and they are threatening to auction off my home, for 600 taxes. OK.....Lets see... there is someone who has lost half of themself, now, lets make sure they loose everything, and live homeless. Kick me when I'm down.....
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brillo  

i have a hot water leak, no one can help, it is about $3k to fix but the costs to have

i have a hot water leak, no one can help, it is about $3k to fix but the costs to have someone even come to say where exactly the leak is - is costly. Called Habitat for humanity, tons of paperwork - and then don't qualify for their plan, high water bill and electric as well due to the leak
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Red Rose   in reply to pinkiam   on

PLEASE, PLEASE, HELP me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please,please help me was right about the tree, but was apparently blind to the beauty of this sister in Christ standing in front of it. People need to look deeper than the layer that covers our outer man, and see what is just beneath the surface.
god bless your heart, and give you what you ask for others'.
thank you for your outlook . Redgold
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Red Rose   in reply to Cloud   on

55 YEAR OLD WIDOW NEEDS HELP

Hi Cloud, I am a disabled widow, but because I'm not 60, the act of trying to find assistance is worst than pulling teath without any novicain. I've been trying for over two years, while still seeking a job easy enough for me to do. With the way our ecconomy is now, I can't even get a job. If it wasn't for my one true friend, I would have already starved to death or died from expossure to the elements. It's to bad that he doen't want to get
married again, because being in his care is hard on both of us.
All of my experiance in childrens entertainment, isn't getting me anywhere either. There aren't any good grants for better living conditions in a widow's life, only college financing. If you werewn't already in a painful place, they want to kill you finatually as well. No wonder my husband prayer for God to take us at the same time. I've had to put up with so much trash from so called friends and relatives, that I can't even call them friends or family any more. I hope that it has been better in your life.
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Cloud   in reply to packrat0157   on

55 YEAR OLD WIDOW NEEDS HELP

Hi i am also an unemployed widow who was a stay at home mom. What state do you live in? Did you get the help you were asking for?
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ginandtoni  

WIDOW IN NEED OF REAL FINACIAL HELP

I am a widow with a down syndrome daughter (my best friend) I was taken for a fake loan lst week they took every thing I had now we are in need of help I was going for a loan for poor to low credit for 15000 to buy a mobile home and pay off some debt The house we are in now the land lord has asked us to be out by May 12
Now that the loan did not go I am praying for God to provide and direction I have since my husband took his life lost my house my auot and made it through brain surgery which they did not know if it was cancer or not
I just want to be with my daughter I want to get this mobile home it was not much but would work for us I am a diabetic and have a bad foot so I can not work or I would be I
If any one knows any where for help real help most that say you can get a loan with poor credit do not work
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YellowRose5r   in reply to ftrucker   on

Financial needs

I am very talented, but there isn't anybody that will give me a chance or a job to do what I do best. I have been used by churches for my abilities, buit they turned their backs on me the minute I needed their help. It isn't my fault that my husband passed on, so why Am I being treated like I have leproscy or the black pleague?
Churches today aren't proving themselves to be full of Godliness.
Instead they prove themselves full of gossiping women, tight fisted
men, but not tight fisted for God, they aren't so for something they want, like a fishing trip, hunting trip, or a motor cycle.
They want what they want and they don't care if they hurt somebody to get it or not. when my pastor broke his ankle, my husband and I fed his family and him for 6 weeks. When we needed him he told the entire congragation that he wasn't going to help us,
they could do what ever they wanted to do, but not to give us any money. It didn't matter that we had helpped his family with over
14 hundred to use out side of church needs. We took them out to eat as well as other families in the church, because they were way to busy to join us for fellowship unless we paid for it. This is what they call Godly today. Woe unto you pastors, who eat of the fatted
sheep, but denie the sheep the meat of love.
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